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Once in bed at night, Cathy's boyfriend would almost instantly curl up in the fetal position facing away from her and begin breathing heavily as though asleep.

It wasn't uncommon for him to ask, "Why do we have to have sex all the time? This is the gender reversal of what we're used to hearing: The piece presented only one real-life example of such a dynamic and, despite mentioning far, far down in the piece a study on desire that Women wants sex tonight Clarkia no significant gender differences, the piece ran with the headline, "He Says 'More' and She Says 'No.

When I put out a call for women who had experienced having the higher sex drive in a relationship, I was flooded with responses -- Women wants sex tonight Clarkia many of these women wanted to put me in touch with female friends with similar tales of sexual dissatisfaction.

There was tremendous variability in what they considered too little sex: One expressed annoyance over an ex-boyfriend who wouldn't have sex more than four times in one night; another complained that her ex-husband wanted Wife wants nsa Perry Hall no more than twice a week; and yet another reported getting busy five times in three years of marriage.

None of this is to say that the real problem is men who don't "put out" a phrase that makes sex sound like such Women wants sex tonight Clarkia dreary chore -- can we please retire it?

It's to show that it isn't exclusively a "male" or "female" phenomenon, nor is it a heterosexual one; it's a human one. He says this difference "can create the appearance that male desire is stronger, but what I've found is often quite the opposite in relationships.

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Women wants sex tonight Clarkia In his therapy practice, he says, "I often meet couples who are stuck in ruts and neither partner has an interest in sex with the other, although there is often sexual interest outside of the relationship, or mismatched desire levels in the relationship," he says. For a hormonal perspective, I went to Kim Wallen, a professor of psychology and behavioral neuroendocrinology at Emory University.

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He says the key sex differences in desire aren't in strength but rather constancy. The women I spoke with attributed the desire differentials they had experienced to a range of causes.

Some blamed it on fundamentally mismatched libidos: The anonymous year-old blogger from girlonthenet. Then there were familiar life stresses. Thirty-eight-year-old "Mary" says sex with her husband was great at first, but then, she says, "our lives settled into a routine.

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I don't know," she says. Similarly, year-old "Martha" says of her stressed-out boyfriend, "I feel like he rejects the therapeutic powers of sex in times of difficulty," whereas she sees it as a way to blow off steam.

Debby Herbenick, a sex researcher at Indiana University, says this is a common experience for both genders. Often, the lack of sex isn't really about sex itself.

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Kerner identifies a handful of common causes for low sexual desire in men: Where gender differences become very real is in social expectations.

Being more desiring than your partner can make anyone question their own sex appeal -- although that's perhaps especially true for women: Women wants sex tonight Clarkia course, it may Women wants sex tonight Clarkia harder for Nude women Meissen than women to find themselves the less-desiring party: Cathy feels a lot of sympathy for guys who find themselves in this situation: Men who are more desiring than their female partners might at least have the benefit of feeling like things are as they should be.

Bex says of having stronger sexual desires than her boyfriend, "It feels like I'm broken or something, which is absolutely not the case," she says.

Ads are currently disabled. Please sign in with Facebook or Google below: If you have an older Salon account, please enter your username and password below: When she wants Women wants sex tonight Clarkia more The stereotype is of a frigid wife, but plenty of women find themselves the more desiring partner.

Youth activists sit in at Mitch's office.